Cold Hands
by AssortedScribbler
Summary: Minerva finds out a secret Albus has kept for far too long just because she admits, finally, that she is cold. Funny how things work out. R&R please!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or anything associated with him. I just own the plot.

**A/N: **I thought this up during the cold nights I spend shivering in bed, as myself and my mother often suffer from cold hands, feet, you name it, we have it. There's a medical reason, but I can't remember it so I thought, well, what about a fic for it? The last few words are from a song in The Swan Princess but I thought they worked. Do tell me what you think! I only just got round to writing this up, despite how long ago I wrote it, so please forgive me. The sixth chapter for She Goes Back Again will be up soon I hope, as I am in the process of typing it up too. After that, updates may be a bit sparse yeah, I know, even more sparse then! I apologise for that. Keep reading, and I'd love a review at the end of it!!

**Summary: **Minerva finds out a secret Albus has kept for far too long just because she admits, finally, that she is cold.

**Cold Hands**

**A MMADness Fic**

It was wintertime at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the weather was making this painfully obvious. Minerva shivered as she huddled herself inside her cloak once more and hurried up the revolving staircase that led to his office. She was freezing from her walk around the grounds and she was really looking forward to sitting near the fire that was bound to be roaring in his rooms. She brought her hands out from under her cloak to examine them and her mouth parted slightly in shock. Her hands were completely white and her skin was translucent, her veins glowing through her skin with painful clarity.

She frowned, closing her mouth sharply, and rubbed her hands together vigorously before stepping off the staircase and knocking briskly on his door, wincing as her knuckles hit the hard oak. The door opened and she pulled on a small smile as she stepped inside. Albus looked up from by the fire and smiled a warm welcome, his eyes twinkling as his gaze found hers. There was no need for words between them, especially on nights like this. Minerva just nodded, went over and slid into the chair opposite him, still huddled in her cloak.

Albus rose to fetch the chessboard and pieces in a comfortable silence while Minerva basked in the warmth spreading in waves from the fire. She checked that Albus was not facing her, before sliding back her cloak. As the Headmaster picked up the box with both their pieces in (she left hers here for the sake of not having to carry them all the time, they didn't seem to like bouncing around in her pocket, in fact, they got quite grumpy) he paused and looked over at her. She was leant back in her chair; her cloak gathered around her and, thinking he was distracted, had held up her hands to see if they looked any better by firelight. They didn't.

Albus froze in horror when he saw those hands. They were unhealthily white and thin, her veins were showing so clearly through her skin it looked painful and Albus drew in a sharp breath at the sight. Minerva heard, and dropped her hands quickly; a flush blooming in her checks that was reflected in her companions, but hers was in embarrassment, whereas his was in shame. He hadn't meant to react so noticeably, he knew Minerva didn't like people watching her when she was not aware of it, especially if she was not being as strong as usual. He tore his eyes away from her diminished form and picked up the board before returning to her side. She hid her hands in the folds of her cloak as he drew near, not needing another reason for him to worry about her.

He set the board down on the small table he'd already placed between them and opened the box so Minerva could take out her own pieces while he sat down in the large comfy armchair he always kept by the fireplace. Minerva saw through his thinly veiled attempt to catch a glimpse of her hands again and gave him a sharp look before pointing her wand at the box from under her cloak and muttering a few well-chosen words. As the pieces flew swiftly to their proper places, he looked up and caught her eyes. She folded her hands self-consciously, though he couldn't see them. He took courage from the pleading look in her eyes and asked gently,

"Minerva my dear, are you cold?" Minerva dropped her eyes and leant forward so the light of the fire, which had previously been blocked by the side of the armchair, fell on her face, letting him answer his own question. Albus drew in another sharp breath, though silent this time, as he saw her face illuminated by the full firelight. She noticed and kept her eyes lowered as his gaze swept across her. She could feel his eyes as they moved over her defined features and wondered whether she had done the right thing. It would have perhaps been better to avoid the question entirely.

Her face looked so gaunt to him, showing tiredness close to exhaustion that he knew was connected to the cold, but behind that, even then there was still a desire not to show any weakness, any emotion that wouldn't be helpful or productive. Albus sighed quietly and leant forward as well, with concern bubbling inside him. Though he didn't speak, she knew how he felt and decided to answer, whether she felt it was needed or not. She knew he would ask if she did not, and she didn't want to give him any opportunities to worry about her even more.

"I am a little cold. I went to check the grounds before I came here and the wind was a little sharper than I expected." She replied in her usual clipped tone, still not looking up at him, instead settling for examining the carpet minutely. Albus shook his head in dismay, frowning. He had left a window open earlier and had felt for himself just how chilling that wind was; he would have preferred not to have let her go but as she had not told him there was little he could do now. Besides, he was sure it hadn't been her turn tonight; otherwise he would have remembered and offered to join her.

"Wasn't it Filius' turn tonight?" He asked, tentatively moving forward and slipping his own hands under her cloak, reaching for hers, enfolding them in his own, and trying to warm them with his own heat. She started to recoil but he gave her a placating smile and she soothed down a little. He would have given a lot more to make his Minerva happy. Not that she knew that, of course. It was highly improper. Minerva looked at her lap as she felt his hands wrap around hers and pull them gently towards him, knowing her cheeks were pink and her eyes were sparkling. His skin was so soft against hers and his closeness meant she could smell him so much better.

"He isn't very well and asked me as a favour. I could hardly let him go could I? We have enough staff problems as it is." She muttered in a low tone, ashamed of the delightful shiver that ran up her back as a result of his touch or the cold, she didn't want to know. Albus shook his head again, wearily this time, and sighed, rubbing her hands gently with his own to try and get the circulation flowing properly again, privately thinking she looked much more ill than Filius had done at dinner but he didn't dare say so in case her temper flared. Minerva swallowed and looked up for the first time since her admittance. His eyes immediately found hers and looked deep into them.

She tried to even out her breathing and take deep breaths without him noticing but to little avail. His eyes were boring into her, stirring up emotions and sensations she thought she had long buried. She stared back, reading his eyes just as he was reading hers. He let the blue pools plead with her, requesting more information that he knew was there but she wasn't telling him. She wondered how he knew so much yet so little about her. Somehow, he always knew when she wasn't telling him something. How did he know? She couldn't understand it and the feel of his skin on hers was somewhat distracting.

"I went out to the lake." She said quietly, breaking eye contact but yielding to his unspoken questioning. She saw his eyes widen out of the corner of her eye and she felt his hands wrap around hers even more tightly as concern filled his countenance again. She held back a sigh. She should not have said that. What was wrong with her tonight? Had somebody spiked her drink with Veritaserum at dinner? Actually, she wouldn't put it past Severus, he had been making some very sarcastic comments just recently (which were nothing new) but they all seemed to be aimed at her and Albus these days. Albus' hands moving rapidly over hers in a very distracting way interrupted her thoughts.

"Merlin's beard Minerva! No wonder you're freezing!" He exclaimed, sliding as far forward in his chair as possible without falling so he could lay her hands on his lap and massage them to help with blood flow. A heating charm at this stage would not help, not now she was as cold as this, it would only give her frostbite. He breathed on them, desperately trying to remember another way to warm her up, at which his mind filled up with rather inappropriate images. Shoving them away in his mind, he concentrated on her dainty, ever-so white hands.

"I'm always freezing." She replied absentmindedly, not even realising she'd said it until it was too late, and it had already tripped off her tongue, where after she could have kicked herself. As it was, she only closed her eyes in shame and lowered her head. She shouldn't have said that either. He looked up with a start after that admission and saw immediately she hadn't meant to reveal it. He stared at her, willing her to look up. She felt as if his eyes were burning a hole inside her head and she knew he was staring at her intensely. She had to wonder why this man always seemed to provoke these kinds of outbursts from her.

"Why is that Minerva?" He asked very quietly but she heard him. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, tilted her head up to look at him and opened them, not knowing how anxious he was about the answer she was to give. Their eyes immediately met, an emotion either was hesitant to put a name to flashing behind them. The atmosphere surrounding them was so thick it could have been cut by a knife, and they were both suddenly having trouble breathing.

"Because I have no fire to warm me." She answered in a soft whisper, and she realised he couldn't stop himself from shivering at the note of despair that rang behind that small statement which she had tried to tune out but had only succeeded in sounding little bit more pathetic. Looking deep in his eyes, she saw the surprise and she saw the bitter disappointment in his eyes before he wrenched them from her and she swallowed to wet her constricted throat, knowing she had somehow hurt him with what she had said. He had frozen, her hands still laying in his lap, but no longer being caressed.

"Albus, what have I done? Have I hurt…?" She trailed off, unsure herself of what she wanted to say. He remained still and cold, his eyes no longer searching for hers but rather pointedly avoiding her gaze that now, she sought make meet his. She felt a flicker of uncertainty; after all, Albus was rarely cold, and moved her hands to enclose his, which were just resting by hers. His eyes blinked and turned on her, concern and sadness masking his hurt. Minerva was now thoroughly unsettled and slipped off her chair gracefully to kneel in front of him, her eyes searching his for the cheeriness she depended on, concern now lighting her face too.

"Albus, please tell me, what have I done?" Minerva asked quietly, her eyes begging him to answer so she could make it right. Albus looked down into her trusting, unhappy face and could not refuse her, after all, she had no idea how much her answer had stung him. There was no reason she should. It was merely his own hopes and thoughts that had been wounded; she had no reason to think he would be hurt by what she had said. After all, the though of them was ridiculous. Wasn't it? She had made that clear.

"Minerva, you have done nothing. It is I who have – never mind. Shall we play?" He asked, not moving. His expression was closed, not his usual open countenance at all and Minerva was getting a little desperate. She blinked, unused to such an abrupt dismissal from him before realising it was a defence against a confession he obviously didn't want to make. But she was not about to let this add to the pile of things they didn't talk about (though she did admit most of those were on her part) and it was always getting larger. This was not about to add to it.

"Albus, do not lie to me-" She began sternly, but this caused a reaction in him she did not expect. Anger.

"Why? Why am I forbidden that right when others make full use of it? I am only human, as you always remind me Minerva!" Albus cut her off, his voice betraying his mixed emotion much more than his face. When faced with this part of her friend, a part she had not seen in a very long time, she recoiled as if slapped and stood sharply. This was not like Albus at all; he never spoke to her like that, not even when she had been a student! She must have really cut him deeply to have dragged up such a vicious anger in him.

"Albus, I don't know what you mean. Yes you are human, and yes humans lie, but you are better than that! I don't lie unless I have to, you know that." Minerva replied in a voice of forced calm, not appreciating his snap at her when he would not explain to her what was wrong, but keeping her temper for the moment, unless it was needed. She guessed Albus must have caught the look of checked fury in her eyes and regretted his sharp outburst because she saw the softening in his eyes. What she did not guess was Albus' thoughts of half indignation, half despair that she did not know of the fire that burned in his heart, the fire that was ignited and sustained only by her.

"Minerva, I'm sorry. I had no right to snap at you like that. It was just some of my own stupid frustration showing at an inappropriate moment is all." Albus answered, regaining the calm countenance that had escaped him for those short moments, though he doubted this would be enough to convince Minerva he was all right. Though she was stood, he was still holding her hands and she was gazing down at the man she had been trying so hard not to love and sighed.

"Please Albus, tell me." The Headmaster could not miss, she knew, the quivering note in her voice and he gripped her hands more tightly than he ever had before, effectively holding her prisoner in front of him. He looked up at her and, not liking how superior it made her seem, she knelt back down so they were closer to eye level, wondering if the blush in her cheeks was as obvious to him as she felt it was. The closeness they were sharing was not something she was used to. Her heart was beating twice as fast as usual and she struggled to calm herself down a little.

"Minerva, it is such a foolish, ridiculous excuse, you won't _want_ to believe it." Albus began, looking into her eyes for what felt like the millionth time, with apprehension. He didn't want to tell her, his mind was rapidly racing to find a good excuse he could give without seeming to be lying, but there seemed to be none stored away for this kind of situation. Indeed, he should have known there wouldn't be. He had never been in this situation before. She didn't need to know how he felt, there was absolutely no chance of her returning those feelings, it was just out of the question!

"I would like to hear it all the same." Minerva replied smoothly, soothing him and managing a small smile as her temper receded. Albus could only half-smile and smoothed a hand over her now quite warm hands, though he wasn't about to give them up unless she took them away. He depended on those hands, or at least, for the moment he did. She noticed how tenderly his thumb glided over her skin and resisted the urge to suck in her breath rather sharply. It was practically torture, having him this close but he needed to talk about something, so she would do as she had always done, and put his needs before her own.

"I was hurt when you said you had no fire in your life because I thought it was a metaphor for no good things in your life. You see, I had always assumed our friendship was important enough to be called something good, as I always have done. But after your statement earlier, I can see I was wrong." His tone was low and sad, his eyes no longer meeting hers, but resting on their entwined hands. Minerva opened her mouth to protest against that awful conclusion but Albus lifted his own hand and placed it over her mouth to show he hadn't finished. Minerva closed her mouth, relishing the feel of his skin on her lips, which seemed particularly sensitive to her and very soft, tantalisingly so.

"My dear Minerva, I realised in those few seconds just how much you mean to me. And I gave up fighting myself, at last. I knew then it was impossible not to love you. I do Minerva, I love you." The repetition of the words seemed to give him strength and he carried on before Minerva had a chance to respond. "I have done for the longest time, I tried to fight it but you are so irresistible." Albus finished longingly, his eyes finally windows to the love he felt for his dearest friend and closest confidant. Minerva was overwhelmed. Albus Dumbledore, the greatest wizard of their age and possibly any other, loved _her_? It seemed impossible but it was everything her heart had hoped for. Albus looked down at her and wondered if he had just made a very huge mistake.

"Albus, you do not know what it is to me to hear you say those words. I have been trying to fight it as well, but you are so good and so kind, you worked your way into my heart almost without my realising. I didn't mean, when I said there was no fire, that our friendship is not a wonderful thing because it is. I just could feel my heart fighting with my mind over you all the time I was with you, and more often than not, my mind won, as it has always done. That is what made me cold." There was a touch of pain to her tone that made Albus want to sweep her into his arms, but she sighed, looking away from him and grasping his hands tighter, so he settled for verbal comfort. He smiled and leant forward slowly to whisper in her ear,

"What did your heart say that your mind disagreed with?" Minerva started when she heard his voice so close to her ear and turned to face the man she loved once more, blushing slightly. Albus looked at her over his glasses, his eyes twinkling at the woman in front of him. There was a twitch of a smile hinted at around her mouth as their gazes met, the firelight flashing off their glasses, intensifying her thought that his eyes were like lights of their own while he wondered how she could be so beautiful and be his. He wondered why she had not fallen in love before, or if she had, why she was with him now.

"That I loved you more than I loved anything else in the world and that there was a small chance that perhaps you felt the same." Minerva answered quietly, looking deep into his eyes and letting a small smile slip onto her face, unable to stay stern in the midst of such joy and other whirling feelings. Albus smiled even more widely and lifted a hand from hers to draw her face towards him, her eyelids fluttering a little at his touch, much to his delight.

"I'd listen to you heart more. There's a lot more than a small chance. I love you, and have loved you more than anything else I have ever known in my long life for what seems a very long time." Albus answered quietly, his tone hushed in a secret-sharing voice that made Minerva smile gloriously as he gently brushed his lips against hers in their first tender kiss, and pulled her onto his lap while Minerva tipped her head to one side, pecking his lips in the hopes he would open to her, and she slid her arms around his neck, pulling them both closer.

"Will you love me tomorrow?" Minerva whispered, her eyes flickering open to meet his with soft questioning accompanying the sheer gladness he found in them. He paused for a moment, watching her carefully, his eyebrows lowered to a serious level before he answered in a hushed tone that no doubt was the most sincere she had ever heard from him and smiling truthfully to alleviate her fears,

"And the next day, and everyday after that, for longer than forever."


End file.
